Saturday, December 9, 2017

LoriAnn

Donald The Showman

25 Parodies Of Christmas: 




Sung to the tune of:
Frosty The Snowman


Donald The Showman
American-Loving Soul
while the lefties cry
they weren't taught to lose
so the loss, just took it's toll

Donald The Showman
"won't be president," they said
Clinton's ego grew
but the people knew
now hardcore left's dreams are dead

it happened just like magic
on that night, November 8
Clinton supporters shook their heads
now, Make America Great!

Donald The Showman
from reality tv
so the news folk joked
now their minds are broke
he's the prez for you and me

Donald The Showman
for our country, leads the way
never had such fun
watching Kim Jong Un
make his threats, then back away

guess we're all sexist
heard that in a lefty's rant
crying here and there
"waaah! this isn't fair!"
want impeachment, but they can't

we let them down, those wearing gowns
that is Madonna's schlock
should've voted for the woman
but, instead, we cleaned her clock!

Trumpity Trump Trump
Trumpity Trump Trump
look at that Donald go!
Trumpity Trump Trump
Trumpity Trump Trump
melting those flakes of snow

Donald The Showman
American-Loving Soul
while the lefties cry
they weren't taught to lose
so the loss, just took it's toll

Donald The Showman
up against media worms
and while lefties fly into rage and cry...
they secure his second term!


Author Credit: Jonathan

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Friday, December 8, 2017

LoriAnn

12 Days Drive-Thru


    On the Twelfth Day of Christmas
    my Drive-Thru gave to me:

    Twelve bags of Pepto, 

    Eleven polish Hot Dogs, 

    Ten baked Potatoes, 

    Nine Chicken Tenders, 

    Eight bowls of Chili, 

    Seven pints of Cole Slaw, 

    Six chocolate Milkshakes, 

    Five Onion Rings; 

    Four Egg McMuffins, 

    Three Biggie Fries, 

    Two Happy Meals' 

    and a Big Bacon Classic with Cheese! 

 + click to enlarge and share

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Thursday, December 7, 2017

LoriAnn

Twas Senior's Night Before Christmas


Senior's Night Before Christmas is a comical take on the classic version of Clement Clarke Moore's - "A Visit From St. Nicholas"


'Twas the night before Christmas at Rock-Away Rest,
And all of us seniors were looking our best.
Our glasses, how sparkly, our wrinkles, how merry;
Our punch bowl held prune juice, plus three drops of sherry.

A bedsock was taped to each walker, in hope
That Santa would bring us soft candy and soap.
We surely were lucky to be there with friends,
Secure in this residence and in our Depends.

Our grandkids had sent us some Christmasy crafts,
Like angels in snowsuits and penguins on rafts.
The dental assistant had borrowed our teeth,
And from them she'd crafted a holiday wreath.

The bed pans, so shiny, all stood in a row,
Reflecting our candle's magnificent glow.
Our supper so festive -- the joy wouldn't stop --
Was creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top.

Our salad was Jell-O, so jiggly and great, 
Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate.
The social director then had us play games,
Like "Where Are You Living?" and "What Are Your Names?"

Old Grandfather Looper was feeling his oats,
Proclaiming that reindeer were nothing but goats.
Our resident wand'rer was tied to her chair,
In hopes that at bedtime she still would be there.

Security lights on the new fallen snow
Made outdoors seem noon to the old folks below.
Then out on the porch there arose quite a clatter
(But we are so deaf that it just didn't matter).

A strange little fellow flew in through the door,
Then tripped on the sill and fell flat on the floor.
'Twas just our director, all togged out in red.
He jiggled and chuckled and patted each head.

We knew from the way that he strutted and jived
Our social- security checks had arrived.
We sang -- how we sang -- in our monotone croak,
Till the clock tinkled out its soft eight-p.m. stroke.

And soon we were snuggling deep in our beds.
While nurses distributed nocturnal meds.
And so ends our Christmas at Rock-Away Rest.
'fore long you'll be with us, We wish you the best. 

Kati McSweeney
Canoga Park, CA
Source: AmiRight.com
image from CartoonKate.com

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LoriAnn

Christmas in the Trenches

On Christmas 1914 soldiers on the Western Front left their trenches, walked through no man’s land, and met their enemies in an informal truce. This Christmas Eve story has always fascinated me. Hopeful and bittersweet. Men trying to be at their best in the middle of the worst. Soldiers from England, France and Germany, who had been killing one another in the trenches of World War I, stopped.
 It was a Christmas peace.


Christmas in the Trenches


Oh, my name is Frances Tolliver, I come from Liverpool.
Two years ago the war was waitin' For me after school.

From Belgium and to Flanders, Germany to here.
I fought for King and country I love dear.

Twas Christmas in the trenches, And the frost so bitter hung.
The frozen fields of France were still, No songs of peace were sung.

Our families back in England, Were toasting us that day.
Their brave and glorious lads, So far away.

I was lyin' with me mess mates, On the cold and rocky ground.
When across the lines of battle came, A most peculiar sound.

Says I, "Now listen up me boys," Each soldier strained to hear.
As one young German voice, Sang out so clear.

"He's singin' bloody well ya know," My partner says to me.
Soon one by one each German voice, Joined in, in harmony.

The cannons rested silent, And the gas cloud rolled no more.
As Christmas... brought us respite, From the war.

As soon as they were finished, And a reverent pause was spent.
"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," Struck up some lads from Kent.

Oh, the next they sang was "Steller Nacht," To "Silent Night" says I.
And in two tongues one song, Filled up that sky.

"There's someone comin' towards us now," The frontline sentry cried.
All sights were fixed on one lone figure, Trudging from their side.

His truce flag like a Christmas star, Shone on the plains so bright.
As he bravely, trudged unarmed Into the night.

Then one by one on either side, Walked into no-man's land.
Neither gun or bayonet, We met there hand to hand.

We shared some secret brandy, And we wished each other well.
And in a flare-lit football game We gave them hell.

We traded chocolates and cigarettes, And photographs from home.
These sons and fathers, far away, From families of their own.

Tom Sanders played his squeeze box, And they had a violin.
This curious, and unlikely Band of men.

Soon daylight stole upon us, And France was France once more.
We said fairwell as we each began To settle back to war.

But the question haunted every heart, That lived that wonderous night.
"Whose family, have I fixed, Within my sights?"

Twas Christmas in the trenches, And the frost so bitter hung.
The frozen fields of France were born, As songs of peace were sung.

For the walls they'd kept between us, To exact the work of war.
Had been crumbled, and were gone Forever more.

Oh, my name is Frances Tolliver, In Liverpool I dwell.
Each Christmas comes, since World War I,
I've learned its lessons well.

For the ones who called the shots won't be, Among the dead and lame.
And on each end of the rifle,

We're the same.

http://www.johnmcdermott.com



Sung by: John Mc Dermott


This is a tribute to the amazing evets which happenned on Christmas Eve and Day when the sound of Silent Night came from the German trenches and a young German soldier approached the allied trenches to hold out the hand of friendship to the enemy in no mans land. So started the famous Christmas Day Truce Of 1914.


  • Christmas Miracle 1914 (Song)


  • :: REFERENCES ::
    Wikipedia - Christmas_truce
    MetroPostcards

    Christmas Truce - a Reminder of Our Humanity
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    LoriAnn

    A Rifle for Christmas


    A Rifle for Christmas –  A story about a dad’s charity and a son’s understanding.
    A Rifle for Christmas
    -Rian B. Anderson-
    Pa never had much compassion for the lazy or those who squandered their means and then never had enough for the necessities.  But for those who were genuinely in need, his heart was as big as all outdoors. It was from him that I learned the greatest joy in life comes from giving, not from receiving.
    It was Christmas Eve 1881. I was fifteen years old and feeling like the world had caved in on me because there just hadn’t been enough money to buy me the rifle that I’d wanted so bad that year for Christmas.  We did the chores early that night for some reason. I just figured Pa wanted a little extra time so we could read in the Bible. So after supper was over I took my boots off and stretched out in front of the fireplace and waited for Pa to get down the old Bible. I was still feeling sorry for myself and, to be honest, I wasn’t in much of a mood to read scriptures. But Pa didn’t get the Bible; instead he bundled up and went outside. I couldn’t figure it out because we had already done all the chores. I didn’t worry about it long though, I was too busy wallowing in self-pity.
    Soon Pa came back in. It was a cold clear night out and there was ice in his beard. “Come on, Matt,” he said.  “Bundle up good, it’s cold out tonight.”
    I was really upset then. Not only wasn’t I getting the rifle for Christmas, now Pa was dragging me out in the cold, and for no earthly reason that I could see. We’d already done all the chores, and I couldn’t think of anything else that needed doing, especially not on a night like this. But I knew Pa was not very patient at one dragging one’s feet when he’d told them to do something, so I got up and put my boots back on and got my cap, coat, and mittens. Ma gave me a mysterious smile as I opened the door to leave the house. Something was up, but I didn’t know what.
    Outside, I became even more dismayed.  There in front of the house was the work team, already hitched to the big sled. Whatever it was we were going to do wasn’t going to be a short, quick, little job.  I could tell. We never hitched up the big sled unless we were going to haul a big load.  Pa was already up on the seat, reins in hand. I reluctantly climbed up beside him. The cold was already biting at me.  I wasn’t happy.
    When I was on, Pa pulled the sled around the house and stopped in front of the woodshed.  He got off and I followed. “I think we’ll put on the high sideboards,” he said. “Here, help me.”
    The high sideboards! It had been a bigger job than I wanted to do with just the low sideboards on, but whatever it was we were going to do would be a lot bigger with the high sideboards on.
    When we had exchanged the sideboards Pa went into the woodshed and came out with an armload of wood—the wood I’d spent all summer hauling down from the mountain, and then all fall sawing into blocks and splitting. What was he doing?
    Finally I said something. “Pa,” I asked, “what are you doing?”
    You been by the Widow Jensen’s lately?” he asked.  The Widow Jensen lived about two miles down the road. Her husband had died a year or so before and left her with three children, the oldest being eight.
    Sure, I’d been by, but so what? “Yeah,” I said, “why?”
    “I rode by just today,” Pa said.  “Little Jakey was out digging around in the woodpile trying to find a few chips. They’re out of wood, Matt.” That was all he said and then he turned and went back into the woodshed for another armload of wood.  I followed him.
    We loaded the sled so high that I began to wonder if the horses would be able to pull it.  Finally, Pa called a halt to our loading, then we went to the smoke house and Pa took down a big ham and a side of bacon.  He handed them to me and told me to put them in the sled and wait.
    When he returned he was carrying a sack of flour over his right shoulder and a smaller sack of something in his left hand. “What’s in the little sack?” I asked.
    “Shoes. They’re out of shoes. Little Jakey just had gunnysacks wrapped around his feet when he was out in the woodpile this morning.  I got the children a little candy too.  It just wouldn’t be Christmas without a little candy.”
    We rode the two miles to Widow Jensen’s pretty much in silence.  I tried to think through what Pa was doing.  We didn’t have much by worldly standards.  Of course, we did have a big woodpile, though most of what was left now was still in the form of logs that I would have to saw into blocks and split before we could use it.  We also had meat and flour, so we could spare that, but I knew we didn’t have any money, so why was Pa buying them shoes and candy? Really, why was he doing any of this?  Widow Jensen had closer neighbors than us. It shouldn’t have been our concern.
    We came in from the blind side of the Jensen house and unloaded the wood as quietly as possible, then we took the meat and flour and shoes to the door.  We knocked.  The door opened a crack and a timid voice said, “Who is it?”
    “Lucas Miles, Ma’am, and my son, Matt.  Could we come in for a bit?”
    Widow Jensen opened the door and let us in. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. The children were wrapped in another and were sitting in front of the fireplace by a very small fire that hardly gave off any heat at all.  Widow Jensen fumbled with a match and finally lit the lamp.
    “We brought you a few things, Ma’am,” Pa said and set down the sack of flour. I put the meat on the table.  Then Pa handed her the sack that had the shoes in it. She opened it hesitantly and took the shoes out one pair at a time. There was a pair for her and one for each of the children—sturdy shoes, the best, shoes that would last. I watched her carefully.  She bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling and then tears filled her eyes and started running down her cheeks.  She looked up at Pa like she wanted to say something, but it wouldn’t come out.
    “We brought a load of wood too, Ma’am,” Pa said, then he turned to me and said, “Matt, go bring enough in to last for awhile.  Let’s get that fire up to size and heat this place up.”
    I wasn’t the same person when I went back out to bring in the wood. I had a big lump in my throat and, much as I hate to admit it, there were tears in my eyes too. In my mind I kept seeing those three kids huddled around the fireplace and their mother standing there with tears running down her cheeks and so much gratitude in her heart that she couldn’t speak.  My heart swelled within me and a joy filled my soul that I’d never known before.  I had given at Christmas many times before, but never when it had made so much difference.  I could see we were literally saving the lives of these people.
    I soon had the fire blazing and everyone’s spirits soared.  The kids started giggling when Pa handed them each a piece of candy and Widow Jensen looked on with a smile that probably hadn’t crossed her face for a long time. She finally turned to us.  “God bless you,” she said. “I know the Lord himself has sent you.  The children and I have been praying that he would send one of his angels to spare us.”
    In spite of myself, the lump returned to my throat and the tears welled up in my eyes again.  I’d never thought of Pa in those exact terms before, but after Widow Jensen mentioned it I could see that it was probably true.  I was sure that a better man than Pa had never walked the earth.  I started remembering all the times he had gone out of his way for Ma and me, and many others. The list seemed endless as I thought on it.
    Pa insisted that everyone try on the shoes before we left. I was amazed when they all fit and I wondered how he had known what sizes to get. Then I guessed that if he was on an errand for the Lord that the Lord would make sure he got the right sizes.
    Tears were running down Widow Jensen’s face again when we stood up to leave.  Pa took each of the kids in his big arms and gave them a hug. They clung to him and didn’t want us to go. I could see that they missed their pa, and I was glad that I still had mine.
    At the door Pa turned to Widow Jensen and said, “The Mrs. wanted me to invite you and the children over for Christmas dinner tomorrow. The turkey will be more than the three of us can eat, and a man can get cantankerous if he has to eat turkey for too many meals.  We’ll be by to get you about eleven. It’ll be nice to have some little ones around again. Matt, here, hasn’t been little for quite a spell.”  I was the youngest.  My two older brothers and two older sisters were all married and had moved away.
    Widow Jensen nodded and said, “Thank you, Brother Miles. I don’t have to say, “‘May the Lord bless you,’ I know for certain that He will.”
    Out on the sled I felt a warmth that came from deep within and I didn’t even notice the cold.  When we had gone a ways, Pa turned to me and said, “Matt, I want you to know something.  Your ma and me have been tucking a little money away here and there all year so we could buy that rifle for you, but we didn’t have quite enough.  Then yesterday a man who owed me a little money from years back came by to make things square.  Your ma and me were real excited, thinking that now we could get you that rifle, and I started into town this morning to do just that.  But on the way I saw little Jakey out scratching in the woodpile with his feet wrapped in those gunnysacks and I knew what I had to do. So, Son, I spent the money for shoes and a little candy for those children. I hope you understand.”
    I understood, and my eyes became wet with tears again.  I understood very well, and I was so glad Pa had done it.  Just then the rifle seemed very low on my list of priorities.  Pa had given me a lot more. He had given me the look on Widow Jensen’s face and the radiant smiles of her three children. For the rest of my life, whenever I saw any of the Jensens, or split a block of wood, I remembered, and remembering brought back that same joy I felt riding home beside Pa that night. Pa had given me much more than a rifle that night, he had given me the best Christmas of my life.

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