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Tuesday, December 23, 2025

LazsRealm

Zodiac Cat ~ A Christmas Poem


Celebrate the holidays with a whimsical poem
 that blends astrology with feline chaos, perfect for any cat lover.


The twelve signs gather 'round the tree,
To see what Santa Paws will see.
But cats don't care for mystic signs,
They only care for tinsel lines!

Aries starts the midnight fight,
Attacking baubles left and right.
Taurus sleeps beneath the bough,
And wakes to demand his dinner now.

Gemini dashes through the halls,
Knocking stockings off the walls.
Cancer cuddles by the fire,
Watching the flames grow ever higher.

Leo climbs the spruce so grand,
The brightest star in all the land.
Virgo grooms their paws so neat,
And leaves hairballs right at your feet.

Libra weighs the glass tree balls,
Then bats them 'til they crash and fall.
Scorpio hides inside a box,
And ambushes your knitted socks.

Sagittarius yowls into the night,
Batting the lights that sparkle bright.
Capricorn gives the famous glare,
Staring down from Santa's chair.

Aquarius chews the floral plants,
While Pisces does a sleepy dance.
No matter which sign they are told,
They're rulers of the household!
zodiac kitty ornaments by kittensgivestitches

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Monday, December 1, 2025

LazsRealm

The Innkeepers Wife

How could this be for a babe to be born,
Where the animals feed and it's not even warm?
I begged and I pleaded, yet not a person was swayed
To give up a room for the poor little babe.

So there he now lays, this poor little stranger,
Swaddled in cloths and laid in a manger.
And his sweet mother Mary… you should see her kind face…
A woman serene and so full of grace!



The shepherds that came in the black of the night--
On their lips was the name of the cute little sprite…
They called him Blessed Redeemer…Emmanuel-
And wonderful tidings they continue to tell!



Heavenly angels and a bright guiding star,
Came from the East to where we are now,
It shines a bright path for wayfaring men,
To the dearest and best of all Bethlehem…

I will wonder and ponder this strangest event,
For I, too believe this babes heaven sent…
The Messiah and Savior in my feeding trough?
Somehow… I know…he'll be enough!


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LoriAnn

'Twas The Night Before... (Various Parody Snippets)

A snippet verse from various 'Twas The Night Before' Parodies.

'Twas the night before Christmas
when all through the land
all the writers were busy trying their hand
at penning a poem that would certainly make
everyone laugh 'til their funny bones ached . . .
With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, here are some funny parodies of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" to get you laughing.

4 Funny "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" Parody Poems

These parodies will help bring some seasonal cheer! Includes "The Bill Collector", "Some Assembly Required", "Merry Catmas", and "Sunny Florida".


"Twas a Month Before Christmas" by Shawna Hickling"

Nov 26, 2020 — Twas a month before Christmas, and all through the town, People wore masks, that covered their frown. The frown had begun way back in the spring ...


"A Collection of 'Night Before Christmas' parodies" | Arizona Daily Star

Dec 24, 2019 — 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the state,. Not a snowflake was falling, our usual fate. The bikinis were hung by the poolside ...


"T'was the Night Before Christmas variations" | Appleseeds.org

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the town, St. Joseph was searching, walking up roads and down; Our Lady was waiting, so meek and so mild, While ...


"The Poems (We Think) We Know: 'The Night Before'" | Las Angeles Review Of Books

Dec 24, 2013 — Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!” As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the ...


"Christmas Poem, "Merry Christmas, My Friend" - MarineParents.com

I couldn't help wonder how many lay alone. on a cold Christmas Eve, in a land far from home. Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye. I dropped to ...


Humor Matters: Twas the Night Before Christmas Alternatives

“My belief is that we are going to eventually discover that the most dramatic health benefits of humor are not in laughter, but in the cognitive and emotional


‘Twas the Night Before Thrifting | ThriftDiving

‘Twas the night before thrifting, when all through the house, Not an outfit needed washing, not even a blouse; The laundry was folded by the dryer with care, ...


Crafter’s Night Before Christmas | MyDesignsInTheChaos

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house, Not an order was waiting and I could finally talk to my spouse. The packages had been mailed with tracking numbers and all, In hopes that the post office wouldn’t drop the ball...


‘Twas the Night Before Christmas…with 3 Kids



These post come from the TODAY Parenting Team and PleaseBringCoffee.com. (Archived)


"Twas the Night Before Christmas Parody" | ToddlerApocalypse.com (Archived)

A funny version from a Dad with a toddler. Copyright, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
    Twas the night before Christmas,
    and all through the house…
    I got so excited I slam dunked my spouse!...


From This Blog

Script Source: Tutes Inside

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Friday, August 1, 2025

LoriAnn

12 PDF Christmas Stories


Check out Day One: Christmas Day in the Morning

Check out Day Two: The Three Trees

Check out Day Three: A Christmas Carol Quoteables

Check out Day Four: * The Gift of the Magi

Check out Day Five: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

Check out Day Six: ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

Check out Day Seven: The Christmas Envelope

Check out Day Eight: The Secret of the Bullfinch

Check out Day Nine: Christmas Angel

Check out Day Ten: Candle in the Dark

Check out Day Eleven: The Very First Christmas Tree

Check out Day Twelve: The Candy Bomber

MOre... 19 Famous Stories And Poems from "Daring To Live Fully"


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Friday, December 20, 2024

LoriAnn

12 Days of Christmas (Minnesota Style)

VocalEssence - 2009 Target Commercial "12 Days of Christmas (Minnesota Style)"

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
 Twelve trucks-a-towing
Eleven plastic santas
Ten thousand lakes
Nine warming houses
Eight skaters skating
Seven snoopy statues
Six Loons a-laying
Five hours of sun!
Four Fargo jokes
Three salt bags
Two ya you betchas
And a giant cherry on a huge spoooon!

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Tuesday, December 10, 2024

LoriAnn

Paul Harvey A Christmas Parable

The late Paul Harvey retold this story for decades on his Christmas radio broadcast.
Note: Paul Harvey reads his Christmas presentation, “The Man and the Birds,” in the audio / video recording provided below. A written text of this piece is also provided below.

***


***
A Man and the Birds

The man I’m going to tell you about was not a scrooge, he was a kind decent, mostly good man. Generous to his family and upright in his dealings with other men. But he just didn’t believe in all of that incarnation stuff that the churches proclaim at Christmas time. It just didn’t make sense and he was too honest to pretend otherwise. He just couldn’t swallow the Jesus story, about God coming to Earth as a man.

He told his wife I’m truly sorry to distress you, but I’m not going with you to church this Christmas Eve. He said he would feel like a hypocrite and that he would much rather just stay at home, but that he would wait up for them. So he stayed and they went to the midnight service.

Shortly after the family drove away in the car, snow began to fall. He went to the window to watch the flurries getting heavier and heavier and then he went back to his fireside chair and began to read his newspaper.

Minutes later he was startled by a thudding sound. Then another ... and then another. At first he thought someone must be throwing snowballs against the living room window. But when he went to the front door to investigate he found a flock of birds huddled outside miserably in the snow. They’d been caught in the storm and in a desperate search for shelter they had tried to fly through his large landscape window. That is what had been making the sound.

Birds

Well, he couldn’t let the poor creatures just lie there and freeze, so he remembered the barn where his children stabled their pony. That would provide a warm shelter. All he would have to do is to direct the birds into the shelter.

Quickly, he put on a coat and galoshes and he tramped through the deepening snow to the barn. He opened the doors wide and turned on a light so the birds would know the way in. But the birds did not come in.

So, he figured that food would entice them. He hurried back to the house and fetched some bread crumbs. He sprinkled them on the snow, making a trail of bread crumbs to the yellow-lighted wide open doorway of the stable. But to his dismay, the birds ignored the bread crumbs.

The birds continued to flap around helplessly in the snow. He tried catching them but could not. He tried shooing them into the barn by walking around and waving his arms. Instead, they scattered in every direction ... every direction except into the warm lighted barn.

And that’s when he realized they were afraid of him. To them, he reasoned, I am a strange and terrifying creature. If only I could think of some way to let them know that they can trust me. That I am not trying to hurt them, but to help them. But how? Any move he made tended to frighten them and confuse them. They just would not follow. They would not be led or shooed because they feared him.

He thought to himself, if only I could be a bird and mingle with them and speak their language. Then I could tell them not to be afraid. Then I could show them the way to the safe warm ... to the safe warm barn. But I would have to be one of them so they could see ... and hear ... and understand.

At that moment the church bells began to ring. The sound reached his ears above the sounds of the wind.

Bells

He stood there listening to the bells, Adeste Fidelis, listening to the bells pealing the glad tidings of Christmas.

And he sank to his knees in the snow ...


***
Merry Christmas


A sincere thank you to the late Chicago based radio broadcaster Paul Harvey who retold this story for decades on his Christmas radio broadcast. Listening to this story became a wonderful Christmas tradition for many.

Editor’s Note: The origin and author of The Man and the Birds Christmas Story is unknown. According to Paul Harvey, who retold this parable every Christmas for decades, “the story was originally published by United Press International by Louis Cassels, a longtime friend of mine and colleague. He and I tried for many years to trace the author of these words. We never could and it occurs to me that maybe some things are supposed to be written without credit to any particular individual ...”



More from Paul Harvey...

Read the new adaptation of "The Man and the Birds" called The Professor and the Birds from ChristmasStory.org


Paul Harvey - "It's A Wonderful Life"... The Rest Of The Story
- The retelling of an edition of The Rest of The Story which tells of how the Christmas movie "It's A Wonderful Life" became so popular.


PaulHarveyArchives.com - Search for other recordings from Paul Harvey such as :

    - Christmas Card (first, controversial)
    - Christmas Carols (singing a sin in England 1647)
    - Christmas Eve Escape (POW camp tunnel 1944)
    - Christmas Illegal (England and Colonies 1652)
    - Christmas Tree (German custom brought to England)
    - Christmas Tree Lights (75 years old)
    - Christmas Truce (WW1 1914) video

#paulharveystories #paulharveyradioshow
#therestofthestory #paulharveytherestofthestory


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