Behold, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas ... On Facebook  'Twas Christmas on Facebook, when all through the house Every parent was posting, and clicking their mouse The Instagram filters were chosen with care, In hopes that each image would soon get a share. Each status included a funny thing their kid said So much to be documented, so much to be read! And Junior on his potty, and Missy mid-nap Everyone geo-tagged and placed on a map When somewhere off-screen there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my laptop to see what was the matter Away from my monitor I began to explore Blinked in the non-LCD light, and opened the door The moon was so pretty -- like a promoted post! And I suddenly saw it: a surprise Christmas ghost Yes, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer. When a little old driver climbed down the apparatus I immediately wanted to update my status But more rapid than eagles his phrases they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name! "Now, Friend Me! now, Like Me! now, Poke Me and Share! On, Political Rant! On, Pet Photo! On, Awkward Public Prayer! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!" And then I realized my posting was belated Why, I'd describe Santa's visit like this: "It was Complicated!" As I reached for my phone and clicked the mobile app Suddenly on my shoulder there came a gentle tap He looked a bit weary, that Santa, all told And he told me my updates were getting quite old The Someecards, the gym check-ins, the stuff from George Takei (On that last one he actually rolled a twinkly eye) "Your cat photos -- so annoying! Your kid pictures -- so corny! You're cluttering my news feed with statuses that bore me!" His droll little mouth was drawn up to let fly And he was totally giving me the Santa Stink Eye He spoke not a word more, but went straight to my browser, And perused my Timeline as he hitched up his trousers And rubbing his head with a murmur of "How banal," And giving a nod, he deleted my Wall! Then he sprang to his sleigh, and to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, "You've been a fine hostess, Happy Facebook to all, and I bet 99% of you won't repost this!" Author: Linda Sharps 
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