Various biker versions of the poem for National Leon Day. Which is celebrated on June 25 every year, and marks the exact halfway point in the year to Christmas Day.
Twas the night before Christmas, and out in the garage. Adapted from: Southern Biker Magazine 2018 
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Soldiers marching, banging the drum |
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People rushed up and down the path carrying armloads of bundles. They laughed and called to each other as they pushed their way through the crowds. Above the path, the long arms of an ancient tree reached upward to the sky. It swayed and moaned as a strong wind grasped its branches, and bent them toward the earth. Down below a haughty laugh sounded, and a lovely fir tree stretched and preened its thick green branches, sending a fine spray of snow shimmering downward to the ground. “I should think,” said the fir, in a high smug voice, “that you’d try a little harder to stand still. Goodness knows you’re ugly enough with the leaves you’ve already lost. If you move around any more, you’ll be quite bare.” “I know,” answered the old tree. “Everything has put on its most beautiful clothes for the celebration of the birth of Christ. Even from here I can see the decorations shining from each street corner. And yesterday some men came and put the brightest, loveliest lights on every tree along the path—except me, of course.” He sighed softly, and a flake of snow melted in the form of a teardrop and ran down his gnarled trunk. “Oh, indeed! And did you expect they’d put lights upon you so your ugliness would stand out even more?” smirked the fir. “I guess you’re right,” replied the old tree in a sad voice. “If there were only somewhere I could hide until after the celebrations are over, but here I stand…the only ugly thing among all this beauty. If they would only come and chop me down,” and he sighed sorrowfully. “Well, I don’t wish you any Ill will,” replied the fir, “but you are an eyesore. Perhaps it would be better for us all if they came and chopped you down.” Once again he stretched his lovely thick branches. “You might try to hold onto those three small leaves you still have. At least you wouldn’t be completely bare.” “Oh, I’ve tried so hard,” cried the old tree. “Each fall I say to myself, ‘this year I won’t give up a single leaf, no matter what the cause’, but someone always comes along who seems to need them more than I,” and he sighed once again. “I told you not to give away so many to that dirty little paper boy,” said the fir. “Why you even lowered your branches a little, so that he could reach them. You can’t say I didn’t warn you then.” “Yes, you did at that,” the old tree replied. “But they made him so happy. I heard him say he would pick some for his invalid mother.” “Oh they all had good causes,” mocked the fir. “That young girl, for instance, colored leaves for her party, indeed! They were your leaves!” “She took a lot, didn’t she?” said the old tree, and he seemed to smile. Just then a cold wind blew down the path and a tiny brown bird fell to the ground at the foot of the old tree and lay there shivering, too cold to lift its wings. The old tree looked down in pity, and then quickly he let go of his last three leaves. The golden leaves fluttered down and settled softly over the shivering little bird, and it lay there quietly under the warmth of them. “Now you’ve done it!” shrieked the fir. “You’ve given away every single leaf! Christmas morning you’ll make our path the ugliest sight in the whole city!” The old tree said nothing. Instead, he stretched out his branches to gather what snowflakes he could that they might not fall on the tiny bird. The young fir turned away in anger, and it was then he noticed a painter sitting quietly a few feet from the path, intent upon his long brushes and his canvas. His clothes were old and tattered, and his face wore a sad expression. He was thinking of his loved ones and the empty, cheerless Christmas morning they would face, for he had sold not a single painting in the last few months. But the little tree didn’t see this. Instead, he turned his back to the old tree and said in a haughty voice, “At least keep those bare branches as far away from me as possible. I’m being painted and your hideousness will mar the background.” “I’ll try,” replied the old tree. And he raised his branches as high as possible. It was almost dark when the painter picked up his easel and left. And the little fir was tired and cross from all his preening and posing. Christmas morning he awoke late, and as he proudly shook away the snow from his lovely branches, he was amazed to see a huge crowd of people surrounding the old tree, ah-ing and oh-ing as they stood back and gazed upward. And even those hurrying along the path had to stop for a moment to sigh before they went on. “Whatever could it be?” thought the haughty fir, and he too looked up to see if perhaps the top of the old tree had been broken off during the night. Just then a paper blew away from the hands of an enraptured newsboy and sailed straight into the young fir. The fir gasped in amazement, for there on the front page was a picture of the painter holding his painting of a great white tree whose leafless branches, laden with snow, stretched upward into the sky. While below lay a tiny brown bird almost covered by three golden leaves. And beneath the picture were the words, “The Most Beautiful Thing Is That Which Hath Given All.” The young fir quietly bowed its head beneath the great beauty of the humble old tree. Adapted from: ChristmasStories.org
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The 4 stages of life: 1. You believe in Santa Claus 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus 3. You dress up as Santa Claus 4. You look like Santa Claus Mrs. Clause: "Is it rain or hail?" What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? Ho Ho Helllpppppp!. How do you help someone who has lost the Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf. Where does Santa and his reindeer go to get hot chocolate while flying in the sky? Star-bucks What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-Aments. Why was the ornament addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life. What do you call a snowman that can walk? Snow-mobile. What does a Pirate Santa say...? "Row row row.." What do hip hop artists do on Christmas? Unwrap. What show does a squirrel see on Christmas Day? The Nutcracker. What's Santa's favorite snack food? Crisp Pringles. Why is Meek Mill like an elf? Because he spends all his time wrapping. Where does Santa stay when he is on a vacation? A Ho-Ho-Ho-Tel. Have you heard the Christmas carol about blondes? Its called "Not playing with a full deck the halls". Why did Santa get married? Clause he wanted a last name! Why wouldn't Santa ride his sleigh? For elf and safety concerns. - ONE LINERS - Boy: Are you Christmas? Because I wanna merry you!
Girl: Is your last name Hall? Cause I wanna Deck The Halls. If I was the Grinch, I wouldn't steal Christmas. I'd steal you. Watching Miracle on 34th Street makes me so santa-mental. One goose says to the other "Do you believe in life after Christmas?" How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive" ? Olive ? Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names" Knock Knock! Whos there? Mary and Abby! Mary and Abby who? Mary Christmas and a Abby new year. Knock Knock Who's there? Tissue. Tissue Who? All I Want For Christmas Tissue... Knock knock Who's there? Hannah. Hannah who? Hannah Partridge in a pear tree. Boy: What are we celebrating this Christmas? Mom: Jesus' birth! Boy: Wasn't he born last year? Christmas One Liners I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. There is a special place in hell for people that play Christmas music before Thanksgiving. The awkward moment when Santa Claus has the same wrapping paper as your parents. Is anyone else waiting until December 22nd to Christmas shop? Just in case the Mayans were right? For Christmas I want Santa's list of naughty girls. All I want for Christmas is youuuuuuuu........to get hit by a reindeer Last Christmas, I gave you my scarf but the very next day, you called it "dumb and gay" My boyfriend is just like Santa Claus. He gives me presents and is imaginary. I got more hoes than Santa Claus. I thought I'd get in trouble for taking a baseball bat to my neighbors Christmas decorations, but now I'm gnome free. It's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas. This holiday season, in lieu of gifts, I've decided to give everyone my opinion. Yo mama so fat when she triend to talk to Santa Clause, Santa Clause said "Why u doing the harlem shake?" May Christmas be about what's in your Heart and not what's in your pocket! Due to a shortage of coal. Santa started giving Cleveland browns tickets for christmas. Dear Christmas Carolers, the only thing that can bring "Joy To The World" is a "Silent Night". Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died. To all the people that piss me off, I hope you get Crocs for Christmas. I had a dream about my kids finding their gifts early or as I like to call it "The Nightmare Before Christmas". A song told me to Deck the Halls...so I did. Mr.and Mrs. Hall are not very happy. A boy writes to Santa asking for a brother and receives a reply back from Santa: send me your mother! So when someone ask you " Where is your Christmas Spirit?" is it so wrong to point out your liquor cabinet? When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas! My neighbor put up his Christmas lights today. I bet he's pissed that I beat him to it. I put mine up three years ago. Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a new job the next day. Dear Santa, I can explain..... Christmas has been cancelled! Santa died laughing when I told him you'd been good this year! your mum is so fat that I took a picture of her last christmas and its still printing! Remember, Christmas isn't about how big the tree is, or what's under it. It's about who's around it Christmas light displays are the freestyle rap battles of the suburbs. I try to be unusually kind and compassionate to those around me during the Holidays, because I never know who will end up being my Secret Santa.  Thanks For Visiting |
| Can you name the Christmas movies starting from A to Z? Test your knowledge on this holiday quiz and compare your score to others. Christmas Movies A-Z Can you pick these Rankin/Bass TV specials from aphoto alone? Christmas Film Alphabet, guess them all and win nothing but self esteem. Christmas FILM ALPHABET Answers: Annabelle’s Wish (1997) 53:51 Bears Who Saved Christmas, The (1994) Charlie Brown Christmas, A (1965) 25:28 Disney’s A Christmas Carol (2009) Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas (1977) Frosty the Snowman (1969) 25:21 Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (2000) How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (2011) ** Start at 0.23 Jack Frost (1979) Kung Fu Panda Holiday Special (2010) Little Drummer Boy (1968) Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Nestor, The Long-Eared Christmas Donkey (1977) Olive, the Other Reindeer (1999) Pinocchio’s Christmas (1980) Quincy's Quest (1979) Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town (1970) Twas The Night Before Christmas (1974) Under the Mistletoe (2006) Very Merry Cricket X-mas, Inc. (2008) Year Without a Santa Claus (1974) Ziggy’s Gift (1982) 
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