It was right around midnight
and I heard a clatter
I wasn't concerned what was the matter I fluffed my pillow and reassured Ma - "Go back to sleep: It's Santa Claus."
Down the chimney to the living room
He took care of business like a sonic boom; And then I heard a "Ho, Ho, Ho", And I knew off he'd go.
But, all of a sudden I heard
a thump, thump, thump Perhaps Santa's sleigh on my house did bump. So I decided I better take a look. I put up the ladder and climbed to the roof.
Now, I knew Santa had looked in his book
And he'd found that I've been good, but up on the roof what did appear a special gift from a reindeer.
I've seen droppings before but never this size
fall out of the clouds or down from the sky Here was something earthly made a miniature sewer on my roof did lay The size of a bowling ball The smell of chocolate chip And over the side of my roof; An awful drip.
Then Ma awoke to look outside
There she saw a terrible sight - Tho not too smart, she did know That brown is not the color of snow.
I took double strength garbage bag to the roof
and amidst the prints of reindeer hoof - I took my shovel and held my nose Put the 'gift' in the bag, and got the hose.
As I watered the mess to the ground
I looked up for a passing sound It was Santa's sleigh, reindeer collars going jingle Santa waved - I gave the reindeer the finger - "Goodnight to All" I heard him say "Hey Santa - next year come without the sleigh."
Have no doubt that Santa is real
He does come each and every year The evidence left behind is surely the proof cause I was blessed with Rudolph's poop.
By Roy Harper
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